Heart of a Loki
by TapTapAlways
Summary: Loki is alone, lonely, and there is no one to even notice if he dies. Why does he have to have a heart? It would be so much easier if he didn't. Now has a sequel/companion piece called "Soul of a Loki".
1. Prologue

_First and foremost, I have not watched any Avengers' Movies, so this is a honest AU, because I don't know the canon. I am basing this on Thor (the first one. How many have they made?) The Hulk film starring Eric Bana and various fragments of the first and possibly second Iron man films that I have happened to stumble upon._

 _I read a vulnerable Loki fic and decided to explore the whole "the man must be so lonely" perspective a bit. I will be open to prompts, so send some ideas of situations you'd like me to write and such things, please!_

 _I would very much like some imput on whether you'd like this to be a "Loki has won" or a "Loki has lost" sort of fiction, or perhaps something midway between the two!_

 _TapTap_

Loki looked out across New York from his window; the stars obscured by all the light pollution, but that did not make him feel any less alone. He felt only bad solitude, as if he was watched, as if there were spectors in the dark, just awaiting his next mistake, no matter how slight, but still, no company, no one to care for him. No one to listen, no one to see, no one to notice if he stopped breathing that very minute, nor the next.

He had always been alone. Thor had always looked to other friends, eager to leave his brother behind for more frivolous company, no matter how lonely that had left his only sibling. Not a sibling, now, as it turned out. Never had been, in truth. Loki turned away from the view, locking his heart up securely once more. As it turned out, maybe he'd be better off if the Avengers were right, and he didn't have one.


	2. Chapter 1

_Turns out you cannot do a prompt series without any prompts. At any rate, it is terribly difficult. Interesting challenge, though. And you know how much I like an interesting challenge. Also fluff. I like fluff._

 _This story takes place in three different storylines, set in the past, the present, and the future. Where Loki is both winning, losing, and has another terribly impractical escape plan._

 _I do not own the Avengers films - I haven't even seen them!_

 _TapTap_

 **Present**

Loki looked around at the avengers spread out on the main floor of Stark Tower, or the Avengers' Tower, whichever you'd prefer, defeated, awaiting him to either gloat, murder them in cold blood, or most likely; both. Loki decided to do the unexpected, and just went out the door. Nobody saw that coming.

"What was up with that?" Tony looked up from where he was tied up on his own floor, having been divested of his Iron man suit. Bruce, bound with magical bounds keeping the Hulk away, looked unsurprisingly peaceful. "No doubt, we will find out soon enough".

Pepper was there too, but just as unsurpringly, she didn't speak. She was scared. Natasha, however, did not seem to share in the sentiment, and her silence seemed to be more about her being pissed off than scared. "I don't like it" Clint and Steve said with one voice.

"We are stuck here though, for now" Tony noted, sighing. He wasn't good with waiting. And the sun was rising again, before the newly successfull supervillain returned.

Loki stood just out of sight, in the pale dawn light, his heart clenching. He was watching Pepper. She had been so kind to him, when he had been captured by the pathetic little group of Earth heroes last year, and he had almost allowed himself to hope... but no. It was only pity, he could see that now.

She clearly held no affection for him, that much was clear, so it had only been pity, when she had come to his room, his cell, offering him the choise of eating instead of getting force fed that ridicolous goo of nutrients every few days. It had been disgusting, and humiliating too to add to that.

But Pepper had been kind to him. She had even brought him tea - Loki loved tea. After Pepper had figured that out - and she was very quick to - she would bring by cups randomly to his cell, along with instructions how to get Jarvis to show the strange contraptions called "films" on an empty wall and offering to bring him books. The AI could project those, too, but Loki much preferred the actual things, and she had obliged. She had been kind to him, and he liked her.

Now though, now she was just scared of him, lying curled up on the floor of Stark Tower after the night and hoping he wouldn't return. He had thought they might be friends some day, but no. This was not... it had only been pity. Not warmth, not friendship... nor anything else. Only pity. And it made his heart clench.


	3. Chapter 2

_So this is where the second storyline is introduced. This is a promptbased multichapter story, not a series of one-shots, but it has three different timeframes within. One is past, one is present, and later on we will introduce the future, or the last plotline, as well. The ideas this far are all my own (besides the MARWEL-owned stuff, naturally), but that is only because no prompts have been offered._

 _I do not claim to own "Avengers", I do not even claim to have seen them!_

 _TapTap_

 _ **Past**_

Loki turned his head away, and closed his eyes. Ever since he had been captured, ten days ago, and S.H.I.E.L.D had taken hold of him, time had been a constant humiliation. Loki did not reply to the questioning of the agents, nor accept any threats or offers. They did not torture him; nothing like Asgard where snake venom dripped slowly into your eyes might be a real possibility (and had even happened to him in the past, actually), but the restraints and the force feeding was almost worse.

Now he was being moved to Stark Tower, as they had apparently given up on him. He would never have allowed it, of course, but they had managed (with much help from Thor and what Loki stubbornly thought of as _Thor's_ family, not his own) to restrain his magic, and he really had no other option than obeying, though he admittedly really didn't.

Loki continued to just ignore the agents around him, as he was moved, and chained to a wall in Stark Tower. (Seriously? How medieval) He really couldn't do much to stop it. He tensed up and tried to shrug them off as he felt heavy hands trapping him, attempting to pour something which smelled disgusting into his throat. He bit them, and they withdrew, but he knew the breather would not be long. And it would only get worse for the resistance.

Then, there was a much smaller, less aggressive, hand touching his shoulder, and he turned his head to see a smallish, blond woman offering him a glass of what looked like pure water, not that awful, nutritional goo they forced down his throat regularly. "Drink" she offered kindly, merely looking concerned, not anything else. Loki decided to let her give him the water, and though he said nothing, he cooperatively drank as she held it to his lips. "Pepper!" He suddenly heard the upset voice of Tony Stark, Ironman, and the woman -Pepper, apparently- smiled at him, took the empty glass and walked through the room. Then she was gone.


	4. Chapter 3

_I saw "Iron man" since I posted the last chapter - so many references make sense to me now!_

 _I still haven't gotten any prompts, so I am prompting myself. You know... hearding about random plot bunnies... as ever, it is open to prompts, everything from situational prompts and summaries to one word suggestions. Surprise me! :-)_

 _This story takes place in three different storylines, set in the past, the present, and the future._

 _I still haven't watched the Avengers, and I certainly don't own it! (But I HAVE watched Iron man. Just the first)_

 _TapTap_

 _ **Past**_

Pepper peeked into the room Tony had devoted solely to Loki in his New York home, Stark Tower. The frost giant, god or whatever he could be said to be now, had been released from the worst of the restraints after they had made a second attempt to force some nutrition into him, and was now lying on a sofa, looking rather disgusted.

They had given up on feeding him after he had bitten yet another agent, since Pepper had managed to get some water into him, though Tony had scolded her for trying - as if he didn't do stupid, reckless stuff on an almost hourly basis himself.

Suddenly, the fallen god looked up, and Pepper held up the plate of pizza slices she had brought for him. "You know" she said conversationally, putting the plate down on the table, where he could easily reach for them "if you ate something, they wouldn't try to make you". "Is that so?" He seemed far from convinced, and Pepper thought for a moment. "Well, I cannot speak for S.H.I.E.L.D, but Tony sure won't bother. Try them" she pointed to the plate "they taste much better, I promise" she smiled at the man before her, and then turned and walked out of the well-guarded room just as Tony shouted "Pepper!".


	5. Chapter 4

_Thank you to all who have favourited, followed and reviewed. It means a lot to hear you say you enjoy this story. Especially as it is very much an experiment and I am really rather sceptical about it myself._

 _This story takes place in three different storylines, set in the past, the present, and the future._

 _No copyright infringement is intended._

 _TapTap_

 _ **Present**_

Loki went down into the livingroom of Stark Tower in the morning, ignoring the Avengers trying to get up or shouting (in Steve and Tony's case, to get away from her) and kept walking right over to Pepper, touching her shoulder to wake her up. Despite him already knowing she merely pitied him in their earlier aquaintance; and expecting this rejection now, it still hurt when she shied away from him.

"Wake up, dear" he mumbled instead of making this known, smiling charmingly to hide how painful he found her fear. "You have work to go to - life must go on, after all".


	6. Chapter 5

_Another update right away! Because I might have needed that super-short chapter for exposure, but it was boring. This is fun. This story takes place in three different storylines, set in the past, the present, and the future. I don't own the Avengers films - I haven't even seen them!_

 _TapTap_

 **Past**

Pepper sat before the glass wall - revealed to be glass only from this side - and watched Loki. She had to admit (if only to herself, she'd certainly never hear the end of it if she told Tony) that she liked doing that. She had brought him water at first because she'd thought it worth while testing if he'd be more cooperative if not forced - a feeding tube down your throat had to hurt, after all - and by the third time she visited him, she had come to like the defeated magician.

Perhaps she was just hopeless with her maternal instincts; Tony, after all, was also all but helpless in so many ways. Loki was sweet, too, the way he'd desperately cling to little things in what had to be a very upsetting time. Like tea; Loki seemed to be able to drink endless cups of tea, and she was happy to bring him some; at least he was somewhat grateful, different from a certain hopeless playboy she knew.

Tony hated that she visited Loki, but what did he really think the frost giant (or whatever he counted as these days) would really do? His powers were largely restrained, and besides, the man was very pragmatic. He knew very well Pepper was the only one who would bring him tea, so why on earth would he hurt her. That'd only lead to no tea. There was still plenty of agents for him to try and hurt (and he did, regularly, too) so he needn't turn on the one person who was useful to him. Years of being around Tony Stark had made her virtually immune to seeing things in a sentimental fashion, clearly. But she still liked to look at the dark-haired tea-drinker lounging on his couch, unaware of him being watched. After all, what was the harm?


	7. Chapter 6

_And here comes the third tense: the future._

 _This story takes place in three different storylines in total, set in the past, the present, and the future._

 _I don't own the Avengers films - I haven't even seen them!_

 _TapTap_

 **Future**

Loki groaned. He was trapped. _Again_ , by those _idiot_ Avengers, to add _serious_ insult to injury, and this time, he had no escape plan, if he only managed to suffer through the humiliation of being in their custody. No, this time, he was done for. _Shit_.

Tony paced around the kitchen. This part again. At least, this time the Asgardians had bound _all_ of the trickster's magic, and he really _was_ caught in a trap. There was no doubt about that, thankfully. They had him, and judging by the expression in the god's eyes the last time he saw him, so _very_ different from last time, he knew it too. That was a _little_ bit reassuring. After listening to the ongoing argument for a good ten minutes, Tony Stark sat down at the kitchen table, and he made a list.

He wrote it, labelled it, put it up at the fridge door with a silly magnet in the form of an arc reactor (with the old core which would give its wearer palladium poisoning, but no one had told the fans that, apparently) and then he went to bed. Enough was enough.

The next morning, by the time everyone was in bed, the list looked a little different as each and every member of the team and of the Avengers had made their own contributions.

 **Five rules for Loki's inprisonment;**

1: Loki is not to be tortured. (There is such a thing as the Geneva convention, people)

2: If Loki attempts an escape, it is his own fault if he gets hurt and violence is not only allowed, but _encouraged_.

3: Loki is not allowed to do anything to Pepper. If he does, we _will_ lock him in the Green Room with the Hulk. (Sorry Bruce)

4: Above rule does not apply to _Pepper_ doing things with/to _Loki_. She can do whatever she likes. Unless it directly violates human rights. See rule one. ("Come on, that's a useless rule. Pepper wouldn't!" "Probably not, but it never hurts to be clear")

5: If Loki insults _anybody_ , he is not allowed tea. ("That's a ridicolous rule!" "Yes, Steve, but it'll probably work")


	8. Chapter 7

_This story takes place in three different storylines, set in the past, the present, and the future._

 _I do not own the Avengers films. This is still technically a pompt story, only I have to prompt myself. Which is surprisingly interesting... but sadly doesn't produce especially long chapters. I will work on that._

 _TapTap_

 **Present**

Strangely, life under Loki's rule settled into a rutine. A rutine which had strangely many things in common to life before Loki, except he was lounging around the Tower, flirting with Pepper, disrupting Tony's science and generally agonising the rest of the avengers.

Having bound everyone by magic not to fight him, the norse god/frost giant seemed disinclined to do much else to disrupt the usual rutine, letting Pepper go back to running Stark Industries as soon as the morning following the battle, even letting Tony work on his projects, though restraining the Iron man suits.

Spending the mornings reading, the Trickster then spent his afternoons being a general - but strangely harmless - menace around the tower, and the evenings without fail with Pepper. While she relaxed some with time, upon realising it was not his intention to harm her, Loki was never convinced she kept him company out of more than a desire to keep her friends from being harmed, so he kept his distance, but he could not help but want her company, painful as this strange non-relationship was for his long-shuttered-up heart.


	9. Chapter 8

_So, I was rounding up some plotbunnies for this story, but the bunnies promptly decided that they wanted to make an Avengers Mermaid AU instead - feel free to check it out on my profile. It is now completed, too!_

 _Of course when I gave up and wrote that instead, a plotbunny for this came and sat at my feet too. Sometimes I think they just see it as their job to keep my life interesting._

 _This story takes place in three different storylines, set in the past, the present, and the future, and I still do not own the Avergers._

 _TapTap_

 **Future**

Pepper smirked at the list on the fridge, and made sure to have it copied and delivered into Loki's rather comfortable cell together with his next meal. When she came by the reinforced room later in the afternoon, she found the god standing by the window, watching the skyline intently. "I used to wonder, back when I held power... what was your free will and what was simply self-preservation. I never dared to believe in your intentions, and so we never got past our first kiss... and now, now I wonder" he turned around, looking at her for the first time "as you're _still here_ \- where does that leave us now?"

Pepper gestured to the set of rules now lying on the coffee table. "I know what you want - it was clear back then. And clearly, I am free to do what I'd like". "And what is that?" his eyes were uncertain, even fearful, searching for some sort of reply, some sort of feeling given away, in her face and posture.

Pepper, who had at this point possibly picked up not a small amount of cheekyness from her friend Tony, actually smirked and stepped into Loki's personal space. He didn't move, just watched her all the more intently, and she took that as a good sign. She reached close and kissed him gently, entwining her hands in his hair and watching as he closed his eyes. And she smiled into the kiss. It seemed the rule "Pepper might do what she wants to Loki" was agreed upon not only by the Avengers, but by Loki himself. Unless, of course, it went against that convention she honestly couldn't remember the name of right now...


	10. Chapter 9

_This one is a prompt! Princess Prettypants asked for "Loki needs a hug, you should have a chapter where he gets hugged, especially tight by Thor." So that is what she'll get! 'Is chuffed about finally getting a prompt'._

 _TapTap_

 **Past**

Loki was sitting all by himself in his cell, cradling a cup of very nice tea Pepper had brought him, when there was movement at the door. He sighed. Different from what he would have expected, it was Thor, his... Not his brother, he firmly reminded himself.

Before he could think more closely about it, the norse god had stepped through the room and was hugging him very tightly, not whispering, though perhaps it could be counted so for his very loud - not - brother, as it did not deafen him. "You will always be a brother to me".

 **Present**

Walking through _his_ kitchen, yawning and pouring himself a bowl of cereal, Loki sighed. He might have all the power now, but he still felt as alone as ever. Worse, now, when he was not fighting for his survival.

As he sat down at the bar table with a jug of milk and his bowl, he was surprised by a glimpse of his brother, no; scratch that, his false brother, before a hand clapped him strongly on his shoulder. While no fan of Thor's sometimes painfully exuberant affections, Loki involuntarily found himself smiling, before swiftly quashing that expression. Very irritating and respectless, that was what this was. Yes. Mhmm. That's it.

 **Future**

Shocked at first, Loki had tensed, but as he was not let go, he slowly closed his eyes and lowered his head slightly, leaning his forehead against his brother's shoulder, letting his own hands rest on the strong forearms of his brother. Yes, he felt better now. He did. And perhaps even... not quite so alone?


	11. Epilogue

_So, a reviewer found this story to be supremely confusing; and - truth be told -_ _so did I_ _. As a result, I have rewritten and reedited_ _the entire story_ _, hopefully making everything more clear._

 _All chapters have been reedited, and chapters_ _ **seven**_ _and_ _ **nine**_ _are_ _ **all-new**_ _. This is because the contents have been shifted around slightly in editing and amongst other things some previously individual chapters now find themselves together. :-)_

 _This story takes place in three different storylines, set in the past, the present, and the future._

 _I still do not own Marvel or anything associated._

 _TapTap_

 **Future**

Loki was lounging on his sofa, letting Jarvis project a book onto a wall, like Pepper had shown him how to last time he was a prisoner, and yawning as he read the words. Pepper had been at work all day, making him all sorts of bored. Being a prisoner was perhaps no quite as tedious, painful or even humiliating as it had been last time - not to mention numerous occasions in the past - but it was certainly trying your patience.

Thor wasn't there to entertain him either. Ever since he had made up with his brother a couple of weeks ago, he had come around very regularly to visit him. It had started to feel just a little bit like when they were younger, playing hnefatafl on a wooden board Thor had brought from home, lying on a rug, gossiping and discussing random things just like when they were boys. They had a lot of ground to cover before it was back to their friendship of back then, of course, but Loki was happier having a brother again. Now, though, Thor had gone off to his little mortal girlfriend. Not that Loki blamed him. Despite everything he really could not relate to in his brother's life, _that_ part he _could_.

Suddenly, Jarvis announced a visitor, making Loki roll his eyes and put on a sarcastic face. Bruce Banner would be alright, likely bringing him a cup of tea as Pepper was away all day and perhaps asking him some question on the physics of his magic. He'd even let the scientist do some rudimentary tests before, as he was refreshingly not annoying, different from the _highly tedious_ Captain America, always trying to bring sympathy or pity. Condescending idiot. Loki hated the man.

The "Space Archer" never visited, as torture had been banned by "the _list_ ", nor did Black Widow, seemingly by a simple disinterest, but Jarvis could be good company at times, suggesting books or educating him on modern technology.

It was neither of these people, nor any agents of S.H.I.E.L.D, which he had not expected anyway. Those practically never came around, as he could still get lightly violent with them, coupled with the fact that there was no reason to send them in.

It was Tony Stark. Loki blinked, almost doing a double take. The man was carrying a steel and glass hnefatafl board under his arm and brought a cup of tea as a peace offering.

"Care to teach me to play?" After a moment of hesitation, Loki nodded, gesturing to put the board down on the table and accepted the tea from Pepper's oldest friend, deciding that maybe gaining another friend might, just might, be a good thing. After all, he was not alone any more.


End file.
